How to Include Family in Your Elopement
Elopements and microweddings are a perfect way to celebrate your marriage in an intimate and personalized way without becoming overwhelmed or stressed. If you’re like me (an awkward introvert), you don’t necessarily love all eyes on you, which is why a more intimate gathering was perfect for me. One of the biggest decisions most couples have to make when eloping is how to include family in their elopement day without making the day any less about them.
While the decision ultimately comes down to personal preference and your unique relationships, some couples may want to be able to include guests without allowing the day to be any less focused on them. The first step is to decide together in what capacity you want family or friends to be involved in your elopement or microwedding. Here is a helpful guide when deciding how you want to include loved ones in your wedding day.
Considerations for Inviting Loved Ones to Your Elopement
When deciding whether to invite family and friends to your intimate wedding day the first thing to remember is that the day should remain about your and celebrating your love together! Try and remove external guilt, pressure, and expectations from the equation and sit down together to envision how you want your wedding day to go and how inviting guests will alter that experience. Here are some important things to consider when you’re thinking of inviting guests:
Consider accessbility requirements in regards to your location and activitites. Having guests present can limit the locations you’re able to choose from for a number of reasons. First is accessibility—will anyone in your group hinder you from being able to be married in the type of setting you envision? The next restriction is around the number of people. Inviting guests also puts additional restrictions on where you can elope, because many locations (even free Forest or BLM land) has usage regulations on number of people. If you have more than 10-15 people, you may start bumping up against forest service group size regulations and have to reserve a more traditional ceremony space.
Will anyone invited “take over” your day? Some loved ones have the tendency to take control things, even without realizing they’re doing it. Make a list of the people you’d want to invite and discuss whether any of them might unknowingly take your day hostage.
Keep in mind travel and lodging. If you’re getting married in a destination, helping guests look for lodging and dealing with the logistics of booking travel will add more to your plate. Also, you’ll have to consider how close your elopement location is to lodging options for guests, which can also limit your location options.
Consider including them for only some of your day. If you do decide to invite guests, I always recommend including them for part of the day and then reserving a large block of time for just the two of you to adventure and experience the day solo. Maybe you have family there for the ceremony and celebrations, then sneak off for a sunset hiking or off-roading adventure.
Once you’ve made your decision, let your loved ones know how you’d like to include them in your day. It’s important that you keep everyone on the same page with what’s expected and how you envision the day going.
Preparing Loved ones for Your Adventure Elopement
An outdoor adventure elopement can be an exciting and intimate experience, but it can also pose unique challenges for friends and family who are participating in or attending the event. Here are some tips to help prepare your loved ones for your outdoor adventure elopement day:
Communicate the Details
Make sure your friends and family are aware of the specific details for the day, including the location, time, and any special instructions. Give them an idea of what the environment will be like, such as whether it will be mountainous, wooded, or coastal. It’s always a good idea to share the timeline I create with any guests attending.
Ensure Everyone is Dressed Appropriately
More often than not, I see guests turn up to an outdoor elopement in heels and dress shoes. Encourage your guests to dress comfortably and appropriately for the terrain of your day. Let them know the expected weather conditions and the terrain they'll encounter so they can choose appropriate footwear and clothing.
Share Your Packing List
Give your guests a packing list with essentials such as sunscreen, insect repellent, water bottles, snacks, hats, umbrellas/rain jackets, sunglasses, and any other items they might need to stay comfortable for the adventure.
Set Expectations for the Experience
Let your friends and family know what to expect from the day, including the level of physical activity, the type of ceremony, and any potential challenges. Being clear about the day’s structure can help everyone feel more prepared and relaxed.
Set Them Up for Success with Photos
Communicate your plans for photography and videography. Provide your photographer (me!) with a detailed list of the different photos you want with family and friends. Make sure your guests know when and where to be for group photos and who is involved in what parts. And be sure to let family and friends know to keep out of the way of the photographer during certain parts of the day. While they mean well, I’ve had far too many guests come between my camera and a great shot while trying to capture the same thing on their phone. Let your guests know that while they are welcome to take photos, you’ve invested in a professional who has lots of experience doing this!
Also, if you’re like me and love a specific color palette for photos, consider sharing one with your guests so everyone is dressed in colors that resonate with the environment and look great in photos.
Prepare for the Unexpected
Remind your guests to be flexible and open to changes in plans due to weather or other unforeseen circumstances. Providing a backup plan in case of inclement weather can put everyone at ease.
By preparing your friends and family for your outdoor adventure elopement day, you can ensure that everyone has a safe and enjoyable experience.
Unique Ways to Include Loved ones in Your Elopement
Here are some ways you can include your friends and family in your elopement day without feeling like you have to invite them to be physically present.
Hold a pre-elopement celebration. Consider hosting a small get together before your elopement to build excitement for the day with friends and family. This could be a dinner, a brunch, or a casual cookout.
Incorporate family traditions. If there are special family traditions or family heirlooms that are important to you, you can incorporate them into your elopement day. This could be anything from wearing heirloom jewelry to adding a specific activity into the day that is unique and meaningful to your family!
Have them write letters or record videos. I love when couples take some time during their elopement day to share letters and videos from loved ones. It’s a great opportunity to slow down during your elopement day over a picnic or a meal to share them and have your loved ones there with you!
Include family in the planning process. Share your ideas with them, ask for their opinions, and keep them updated on your plans to make them feel a part of your big day! Moms love being involved in the elopement planning process!
Celebrate with family after the elopement. Consider having a larger celebration with your family after your elopement. This could be a reception or a backyard BBQ and also makes a great forum for sharing your awesome elopement photos with loved ones!
Don’t let guilt and expectation cloud your dream elopement day! However you decide to include loved ones in your elopement, remember that the decision is yours!